Tibi Tendlu – Sweeping Family Abuse Under the Carpet with Case Manager, Nomthandazo Ginindza

 

When family members silence a victim of abuse or agree to ignore abuse taking place within the home, we refer to this as “Tibi Tendlu.”  

This unofficial culture of family secrets, especially on issues of Gender-Based Violence and Child Sexual Abuse, is fast growing within Swazi homes.

 

“In the case of child abuse, especially sexual abuse, perpetrators will always encourage the child to keep the act as “their little secret” and further encourage them not to tell anyone about what they are doing.”

Explaining the rationale behind this behaviour, Case Manager Nomthandazo Ginindza said every kind of abuse flourishes under the cloud of silence. Perpetrators know this very well and they take advantage of this fact.

“In the case of child abuse, especially sexual abuse, perpetrators will always encourage the child to keep the act as “their little secret” and further encourage them not to tell anyone about what they are doing.”

Nomthandazo also shared that, more often than not, perpetrators of abuse are usually the breadwinners in the home making it difficult to report them as it may jeopardize their family members’ sustainability to life.

Such behaviour is a crime as it can be legally heard in court where the silent family members may be charged with accessory to rape.

The silence of abuse is never encouraged within families simply because it has serious adverse effects on the victims, especially as they grow, and allows for GBV and Child Sexual Assault to continue to flourish in our country. 

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