• Believe that you are not to be blamed for being beaten or abused
• Believe that you have the right to think, feel and make choices for yourself
• Know that you are not alone and that you can ask for help
• See that you can make changes in your life if you want to
• Believe that you can decide what is best for yourself

Then do something!

• Talk to someone you trust
• Consider going to the police station and laying a charge
• Speak to a counsellor at SWAGAA
• Obtain a court interdict from your local magistrates court. It warns the abuser that he/she will be arrested if he/she assaults you further.

If you know or suspect that someone (friend, relative, colleague or neighbour) is being abused, don't be afraid to offer help, YOU might SAVE their LIFE!.

Approach them in an understanding, non-blaming way. Tell them they are not alone and there are many people in their situation, and that it takes strenght to survive and trust someone enough to talk about their experience.

Acknowledge that it is scary and difficult to talk about domestic violence. Tell them that they do not desrve to be threatened or beaten. Assure them that she is not responsible for their abusers behaviour.

Share information with her by discusing the dynamics of violence and how abuse is based upon power and control.

Support them as a friend. Be a good listener. Encourage tehm to express their hurt and anger.

Allow them to make their own decisions. Don't give advice. Respect tehir decisions even if they are not ready to give up the relationship.

Ask them is they have suffered physical harm. Go with them to the hospital to check for injuries. Help them report the assault to the police if they choose to do so.

Provide information on help available to abused women and their children including women's organisations, counselling and legal advice services.

Inform them about legal protection that is availabe. Go with them to them to obtain a court interdict to prevent them from further harassment by the abuser.

Plan safety strategies for leaving the abusive relationship. Never encourage someone to follow such safety strategies if they beleive it will put them at further risk.

The following organisations in Swaziland can help you or someone you know who is in an abusive relationship. These organisations may also be able to refer you to other sources of information and help: Social Welfare, Council of Swaziland Churches, 'Save the Children' and Domestic Violence and Child Protection Unit. All countries have organizations who can help. Please try to find one in your community or call the local police.